Our friends are often an extension of our family. In some cases, our friends are closer to us than our family! When one of your nearest and dearest have their heartbroken and is in the midst of an emotional breakup, it can be tough to see.
Breakups are never fun, but it’s particularly tough if they weren’t the instigator of the breakup, it’s taken them by surprise, it’s ended due to betrayal.
In this cause, if you are wondering how to help a friend through a breakup, these are some steps through the various stages of a breakup.
Immediately after the breakup, they might well not want to go anywhere or do anything, but you can still suggest plans and try to encourage them to get out and about.
Don’t invite them out in a way that makes them feel like you’re only doing it because you feel sorry for them.
Just invite them along to things you’re already doing or look for fun events that you know they’d enjoy.
If there is an evening class that you have been wanting to start or a sport you think you would enjoy and you reckon your friend would like it too, then suggest it as something you could do together.
Be prepared to crack open the ice cream. At some point, there is going to be a hugely emotional session, probably at your house, and it will require ice cream and probably wine too. Let your friend pour out whatever is in their mind and heart. Simply listen.
Much of the time, we do not really take the time to hear the words and feel the emotion of what someone is saying. At this time, that is what you need to do. Do not judge, do not interrupt, just let your friend get it all out. From there, the healing can begin over time
Force them into things: It’s good to be proactive and make suggestions, but don’t make them feel obliged to do anything that they don’t feel like doing
Don’t take it all personal: Your friend is probably going to snap at you a few times, say things they don’t mean, argue with you for the hell of it, and generally be quite unpleasant on occasion. Remember that they aren’t themselves right now. Don’t take anything too personally. Simply rise above it.
It is probably going to be quite a while before your friend is actually ready to meet someone new.
If they ask for a set-up in the early days, don’t do it. It’s best for them to find a rebound relationship all by themselves. If you do have someone in mind for them, wait until you’re sure that they’re truly ready to move on before introducing the two of them.